True Confessions: The Dark Side (Creepy story Fragment)

From the time I was in middle school, I have enjoyed daydreaming about killing people.

I think it started because I was teased a lot in school and i used to daydream about getting revenge. I would think about getting my parent's gun and coming to school with it and blowing everyone who hated me away. I liked having those daydreams. Often, I would daydream about killing random people.

Sometimes I would look through my younger sister's books that had pictures or photographs in them. I would daydream about killing the people I saw. I would fantasize about strangling them slowly or stabbing them, or tying them up and torturing them. I developed a game - I would take a pair of dice and write down methods of murder and the roll the dice to pick which way I would kill each person, then enjoy thinking about it in detail.

By the time I got to high school, I used to think about it all the time. My mom found a notebook I had kept about my murderous fantasies, and freaked out. She brought me to a psychiatrist and I had to convince him that I was only writing fiction. My mom never really trusted me after that. I was lucky that this was before Columbine or I would have been in more trouble.

Later on, I started feeling enormously guilty about my fantasies. I would pray to god to help me stop thinking that way. But I would always give in and indulge in those daydreams again.

I am a nice person who would never hurt anyone. I have restricted my daydreams to imaginary people now, so I no longer daydream about killing real people in my life or celebrities. But after seeing a movie, or tv show or reading a book, I sometimes fixate on one character and spend time daydreaming about torturing and killing them, usually strangling them, that seems to be my favorite.

I am pretty sure I would never do this in real life. I don't really want to hurt people. In fact, I am a pretty caring person. I care about my friends a great deal. Everyone thinks I am the nicest, most compassionate person they know. I always listen to my friend's problems and have been told many times that I am so sweet and loving.

I am. But I have this terrible secret, this dark side.